Dying 2 Self Episode #7: Finding Hope

On this episode of Dying 2 Self, I tackle the difficult subject of Depression. In a sermon I recently preached, I talk about what we can learn about depression from the Book of Job.

Mini Book Reviews of ‘Into the Furnace: How a 135-Mile Run Across Death Valley Set My Soul on Fire’ and ‘Stronger Than the Dark: Exploring the Intimate Relationship Between Running and Depression’ by Cory Reese

A few times in my life I’ve enjoyed a book so much I immediately pick up something else by the same author. It almost never works out for me. Perhaps it’s because of my high expectations or maybe it’s the mathematical improbability of one writer making magic twice in a single lifetime, whatever it is, I am almost always disappointed the second time around. I recently took a chance on ultra runner and author Cory Reese by reading two of his books back to back. I really enjoyed Into the Furnace and then took a chance on Stronger Than the Dark. Oh my, I was not disappointed! What follows are mini reviews of both titles.

Into the Furnace: How a 135 Mile Run Across Death Valley Set My Soul on Fire: On the surface, this is a book about Badwater, but in reality, it is about so much more! Funny, heart wrenching, and honest. As a 50 year old wanna be ultra runner, I’ll never run through Death Valley, but there are some philosophical gems in the pages of this book I can apply to my life. Such a good read!

Stronger Than the Dark: Exploring the Intimate Relationship Between Running and Depression: In his latest book, ultra runner Corey Reese takes a deep dive into the ocean that is his depression. He is powerfully, and somewhat painfully, transparent. He discusses the cause, symptoms, and side effects of his depression honestly. In doing so, he gives the reader permission to be honest about their own pain. Ultimately, Reese argues that running saved his life. But it’s not just the simple act of running long distances, that seems fo have saved him, rather, running is the vehicle used to transport him to a place where he could experience healing. This is an important book for anyone who has experienced depression. I honestly had difficulty putting it down.StrIn his latest book, ultra runner Corey Reese takes a deep dive into the ocean that is his depression. He is powerfully, and somewhat painfully, transparent. He discusses the cause, symptoms, and side effects of his depression honestly. In doing so, he gives the reader permission to be honest about their own pain. Ultimately, Reese argues that running saved his life. But it’s not just the simple act of running long distances, that seems fo have saved him, rather, running is the vehicle used to transport him to a place where he could experience healing. This is an important book for anyone who has experienced depression. I honestly had difficulty putting it down.

I highly recommend both of these titles for anyone interested in running or ultra running. Reese has a way of using running to address bigger, more important subjects. I hear he has a third book as well, and I can’t wait to read it.

Mini Book Review of “The Ultramarathon Guide: A Simple Approach to Running Your First Ultramarathon” by Michael D’Aulerio

I grabbed this book off of Amazon because I am a runner with budding aspirations to complete an ultramarathon. This book by Michael D’Aulerio is a great primer for such events. It is separated into chapters with each containing practical and useful information. D’Aulerio offers tips on topics such as what to bring to an ultra, how to stay motivated, and how to fuel and hydrate. It is a helpful read that I can see referring to from time to time as I continue to grow as a runner. I highly recommend it for any novice runner who is contemplating an ultra.

Dying 2 Self Episode #3: The Old Man Must Die

In this episode of the Dying 2 Self Podcast, I examine the phrase “Dying 2 Self” by looking at Scripture that converts the meaning behind the concept. I then apply that concept to our pursuit of Health & Wellness.

The below resources are referenced during this recording:

Francis Chan sermon “Dying to Self: https://youtu.be/l-jpc1pU-_w

The book Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst

Mind, Spirit, and Body

23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” 1 Thessalonians 5:23, NASB.

In his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul prays his readers may be made entirely complete, in body and in spirit and in soul. I emphasize the last two because they seem to me the most ignored in our current day and age. Let’s face it; we understand all too well that our bodies are important. We live in a world that glorifies appearance. Spend a few minutes scrolling Instagram or watching TV and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. The health and wellness machine is all about appearance. The truth is, however, our appearance is the most superficial level of our existence; and when we overemphasize the superficial, we are neglecting what’s really important.

Perhaps you’ve heard it said that we are not a body with a soul, but a soul with a body. In terms of Scripture, this is an accurate statement. the Bible teaches that when we die, we’ll be absent from the body and present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8) and that at some point in God’s plan, we’ll receive new imperishable bodies (1 Corinthians 15:43). In fact, our mortal bodies can’t even inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 15:50). This begs the question, Why do we focus all of our time and attention on the one aspect of our being that matters the least?

It seems to me, that when it comes to health and fitness, we better work on our mind, spirit, and soul, before we worry about our body.

I have a long history of weight loss and, unfortunately, weight gain. Over the past 34 years or so, I have lost a great deal of weight at least 4 times … probably 5 now that I think about it. I have spent a great deal of time counting calories, counting reps, and mastering various programs. I have agonized over various workout routines and driven myself nuts over the tedious little details. But what I’ve never done, is focus on my soul and spirit first.

The truth is, you can do everything right physically and maybe even lose weight; but still be a very unhealthy person. I’m not just talking about those skinny fat people we’ve all heard about, you know, their BMI and weight is under control and they’re considered beautiful by the world’s standards, yet their cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure is a mess. More importantly, I am referring to people who focus all their attention on the physical yet sacrifice the spiritual and the eternal aspects of their existence.

Genesis 1:26 says that all mankind is made in the image of God. He created us with physical attributes, yet He also created us with immaterial attributes; “soul, spirit, intellect, will, conscience, mind, and emotions”1. I’ve lost and gained weight so many times in my life because my emotions, mind, and will were suspect. I could get healthy physically, but never mentally or emotionally. That’s why I would so often turn to food when my life got flipped upside down. That’s why I embraced every emotion I experience with food! Sad – get ice cream, mad – order a pizza, happy – go out to a restaurant and celebrate! Whatever happened in my life, good or bad, caused me to turn to the sin of gluttony for satisfaction. This isn’t a physical problem … it’s a spiritual matter.

Perhaps you’re there. If I’m being honest, there is still a part of me that is. That’s why the plan I’m embracing now involves the mind and spirit and not just the body. This may seem out of order to you, but when it comes to weight loss, I’ve learned that the body is the least important aspect of my being. I’m learning that meditation, prayer, Bible Study, and the formation of good, healthy habits should come first. The body will follow my mind and spirit’s lead. A healthy mind equals a healthy body and a sick mind equals a sick body.

Whatever plan you’re following, learn from my mistakes. Do not ignore your mind and spirit in favor of your body. Any success you achieve following such a plan will be an illusion.

Proverbs 4:23 instructs us “Above all else, guard our hearts, for everything you do flows from it” and truer words have never been spoken.

If you’re interested in learning more about the plan I’m on, leave me a comment. I can give you more information and introduce you to a health coach that can help you get your priorities straight. I can even help introduce you to the Savior who can heal your mind, body, and spirit.

Mini Book Review of ‘Down Size: 12 Truths for Turning Pants-Splitting Frustration into Pants-Fitting Success’ by Ted Spiker

I really enjoy Ted Spiker’s writing style and have gained a great deal from his articles and blog posts over the years. I purchased this book by and large because of his name recognition and, while I don’t regret it, I wasn’t exactly blown away either. Spiker is a famous big guy runner who has been open and honest with his battles regarding his weight over the years. That same honesty is present in this book which is greatly appreciated. He speaks as one who “gets it” and is far more relatable to me than most running authors. He has seemingly put the hardest of his struggles behind him and this book is about getting over that hump. Spiker shares his tips that, by and large, speak to the mental side of weight loss and fitness. He avoids the nuts and bolts that some authors might dive into by not not sharing the specifics of his diet or fitness routine. It made for an enjoyable read, I’m just not sure how much of it I would actually apply to my own struggles … or even how much of it I will remember six months from now.

It Feels Like Something is Broken Inside of Me

Saturday I participated in what, is for me, the hardest run on my schedule. For the second year in a row I signed up for and ran the Indian Run at the Hocking Hills State Park in Logan, Ohio. It is beautiful, well-organized run through one of the most beautiful parts of Ohio. But it is tough. When I ran it last year it was, at the time, my longest run ever. It included many sections of climbs that I was not prepared for and it was all I could do to finish. As soon as I crossed the finish line in 2018, I knew I wanted to come back and do the run again. My long-term goal is to someday do an ultramarathon, but this 20k run through Hocking Hills beat me and I immediately knew I wanted revenge.

That revenge was supposed to happen last Saturday. With another year of training and some modest weight loss, I was convinced I would do better than last year. In some ways, I suppose I did. I beat last year’s time by 18 minutes and physically, I think I feel better and am recovering faster than last year. However, once again, this run beat me.

My problems began at mile 4 with a steep climb up Steel Hill Road. I had strategically planned to walk the hill and did so, however, about half way up the climb I began suffering from painful calf cramps. These cramps plagued me throughout the finish and hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt while running. Every step was a struggle. These cramps put doubt in my mind that I would be able to finish and caused me to walk much more of the course than I intended. I only finished because turning around at that point would have been a more difficult run; plus, my cellphone was out of service which prevented me from calling my wife to come get me. So I trudged forward.

The problems got worse at mile 9. For the second year in a row, in that exact spot, I experienced what I can only describe as an asthma-like attack. Wheezing, a failure to catch my breath, and elevated heart rate accompanied a feeling as if I were about to pass out. It was a sensation I hoped I wouldn’t experience again after last year. It was sensation that put me in survival mode. I was no longer concerned about time, or crushing the run, I just wanted to survive it.

In doing so, it felt like something broke inside of me. I vowed in that moment that I would never sign up for the Indian Run again. It’s just too tough. The 20k distance had beat me down again and any hopes of ever completing the 40k or 60k distance were dashed. In fact, in that moment of suffering, I began to question why I run in the first place. I thought I had made some gains, I thought I had improved, but here I was suffering in the same ways for the second year in a row. It called into question all the work and training I have done over the last year. It made me feel like giving up.

I told my wife afterwards that I was never signing up for the Indian Run again. I could hear the shock in her voice when she responded by telling me she had no doubt I would be back. But beyond that particular run, if I’m being honest, I’ve entertained the notion of just quitting all together. I’ve thought about giving up. I’m not a natural runner, I’m built more like an offensive lineman than an ultramarathon runner, I’m slow …. and here’s the deal, I I always will be.

I don’t mean for this post to be a downer, but for the first time since I began running and losing weight, I am questioning if its all worth it. I’ve run a couple of times since then and I’m starting to recover physically, however, I feel like I’m a long way from recovering mentally. I feel like something is broken inside of me.

I’ve never experience this type of pessimism and dread following a run and I’m not sure how to recover from it. I don’t know if it is normal to feel this way after such a hard effort, but I know I don’t like. Running normally gives me pleasure and peace. That is not where I’m at right now … and I miss it terribly.It

Mini Book Review of ‘Fitness Confidential’ by Vinnie Tortorich

I bought this book hoping to learn more about author’s no sugar, no grains diet (or NSNG). I suppose I expected it to be like other formulaic diet books out there. You know, an intro to the plan followed by the phases of the plan, followed by suggested recipes. However, that wasn’t the case. In all honesty, Tortorich spends little time presenting his diet. As it turns out, “no sugar no grains” is really as complicated as it gets. He spends more time exposing the cesspool the fitness, health, and diet industry has become and even more time chronicling his own journey. I won’t repeat them here for fear of ruining the book, but Tortorich’s battle with his health and fitness demons made for a good read. He is a straightforward guy and cuts through the usual nonsense one would expect from a health expert. His foul language and bluntness may offend some, but I actually kind of found his book refreshing.

For anyone who does want to learn more about the NSNG Diet, Torotorich is a prolific podcaster and Twitter user and he tends to share most of his knowledge for free.

Mini Book Review of Chasing Kona by Rob Cummins

Chasing KonaThis book follows the author’s journey from non-athlete to athlete and eventually to the Ironman World Championships. I enjoyed following is story. The most remarkable aspect of this read for me was the amount of dedication and perseverance it took him to reach his goal. The workload and program he adhered to is incredible. Basically, his whole life revolved about endurance training. His story is a lesson in what separates success from failure. Most often its not natural talent, but rather a willingness to do what’s necessary.

I found this book for my kindle on Amazon … and it was free with my Amazon Prime membership.

Book Review of Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, Ph.D.

neverbingeI typically don’t bother writing reviews for books I didn’t like. Heck, if I’m being honest, I typically don’t finish a book I don’t like. This is one of those instances. I picked up this book of because of the promise embedded in its title, “Never Binge Again.” As someone who has always struggled with maintaining a healthy diet, this book appealed to me. In this book, Livingston spends a great many pages explaining that we need to change the way we look at our inner binge eater. Rather than love the inner glutton that lives inside us, we need to develop an animosity toward it. He recommends that we call this inner self ‘the pig.’ In a sense, he is recommending that we personify our inner binge eater in a way that allows us to see it for what it really is – an enemy. The author offers this solution as an alternative to a self-love approach to healing.

Livingston’s approach may work for some people but, if I’m being honest, I thought it was all a little goofy. Livingston continued to lose me when he began attributing our inner binge eater to evolution and our “lizard brain” which is only concerned with self-satisfaction.

I’m glad this book was free for my kindle because I didn’t feel too bad when I quit reading it.